Saturday, October 29, 2005
Keeping Up Appearances
Apparently my recent post on worldly dress has sparked a good bit of online discussion. I had no idea that clothing was such a controversial topic. The Bible is very plain that Christians should not dress like the world. We may be in the world but we should certainly not be of the world and this includes our dress. However, there seems to be some dispute as to where we need to draw the line between worldly dress and godly dress. Let me quote from a formerly respected Pharisee pastor, Telemachus J. Dobson. Telemachus and I both attended Grace Pharisee Bible College together and have had many a discussion, some quite heated, but he has become a legalistic Sadducee in recent years as you can see for yourself.
It has recently come to my attention, Pharisee Brethren, that our brother Gamaliel, he who would hold himself up as an icon for the next generation of Pharisee ministry; is becoming a bondslave...not of Jesus, but of fashion!
A recent missive reveals his fixation on worldly dress, claiming that "the real Pharisee preacher must dress for success" as a "witness" to the "worldly undressed". After all, God made man in his own image, and that image does not necessarily come dressed in Louis Vuitton suits with Bruno Magli loafers. A true Pharisee would be fully aware that Jesus would shop with the "least of these"...at K-Mart!
But no, our fine brother Gamaliel would leave the ninety and nine...for the sheep who takes his marching orders from GQ!
Know ye not that the necktie was invented as a bib for the mature to wipe their mouths after a good potluck? But no, we must have them as adornment! And instead of at least getting our neckties from the gift counter at Pharisee Family Shops, the nice ones with a "Christian design for $8.99", our compromising brother was actually photographed wearing a Christmas necktie featuring cartoon characters caterwauling Christmas Carols about the conception of Christ! Blasphemy!
Men and brethren, if you can't do a single-color tie or at the very least stripes, it is vanity! We are to be a peculiar people, not the foolish fellow travelers of the fashionistas!
Telemachus J Dobson
Riverbend Pharisee Mission
What this dear brother does not realize is that by dressing in shoddy clothes purchased at bargain basement prices off the rack, he is giving less than his best to God. The Old Testament teaches us that we should bring the firstlings of our flock to the Lord, not the halt, the lame, the second-hand and the cast-offs. God deserves our best and that includes dressing in the best clothes that we can afford. For those of us who are truly spiritual, we dress even better than we can afford, showing our dedication to sacrificial giving on God’s behalf.
But before I could respond to Telemachus and explain to him that he was dishonoring God by dressing like a bum, the discussion spun out of hand. I wanted to let him know how much of a Sadducee he was for judging my desire to give God my best when I received this.
Blessings on the upright, and imprecations on all pretenders to our blessed position! May all recognize our purity.I call on all sisters to unite in outrage and distain. Kmart indeed! Bro. Telemachus, how great is your fall! What of the homespun, and the fruits of your sisters and mothers' nimble and capable fingers? What of the industry and perseverance of your ancestors? Are you better than they? Come back to your roots, down to proper humility, kind sir, that you may be truly lifted up as an example to the godly.
PS: if you must indeed frequent that paragon of vanity fair, don't forget to check your clothes for any hint of that awful subterfuge - synthetic fiber. If it ain't natural how can it possibly be true? And if it ain't true then guile will be found on your person.Oh take care as you teeter on the brink, do not go round the bend!
Miss Ida Seenit
Society of Saintly Sisters
And I knew the conversation had totally spun out of control when some clown sent this in.
"Let me see, I need some new clothing, but I dare not get any modern worldly threads. I'll try this store. Hello Miss, I need some material, but I'm wondering how old is the loom that it was woven on? You don't know? Well, do you know if the thread came from this world? I need something that is holy, in other words not from this world. You don't have anything like that? Hmmm, I guess I'd better go see some Pharisee to see where they buy their clothes."
Some people have no appreciation for how hard it is to live a holy, godly life.
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